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18 December 2009 @ 07:52 pm
On letting go...  
I have an emotional attachment to anything that ever passes through my life. People, events, emails, clutter, books, devices, layouts, dances, songs, etc.

And I am *terrified* of letting any of it go. To the extent that it causes physical discomfort to realize I have to get rid of something, to realize I forgot to save something, to realize I can't remember someone's name or forgot to get their email address.

I was reading a book I bought (with the intent to re-gift) about getting rid of clutter. (aside: this very sentence makes me feel like my mother. Oh dear) One of the things mentioned was about the crossing point between you owning your belongings and your belongings owning you. To me, it's fairly obvious where I am being owned.

The author also made the comment that, if something is so worth keeping, why is it being hidden away, out of sight (and therefore out of mind)? Anything worth keeping should be honoured and displayed. I agree with this, but at the same time, I am finding it difficult to figure out what that means to me; I want to honour everything. Not only is that not feasible, but it's totally unnecessary. All things were not made equal, and some events and items and people that pass through our lives are not meant to stay longer than the time they were actively there. The Internet encourages this stretch by making it easier for people to stay in touch. But let's be realistic: isn't it more important to spend quality time with those we care about deeply than to spend all day catching up on minute details of people we haven't seen or heard from in years?
I'm feeling:: pensivepensive
4ever_smiling4ever_smiling on December 27th, 2009 04:15 pm (UTC)
Ok...so you just made me cry, for a very specific reason which I won't explain over the internet...

However, I know exactly how you feel because I am the exact same way, and am working my way through these very revelations. Living life nostalgically has been a protective barrier between me and the real world. Living in the past allowed me to chose what I wanted to remember and pretend I was happy. Now, I'm trying to live more in the moment...and it hurts, more every day. But I have to believe it will be worth it or I won't make it to tomorrow...